the lighter
side of
communism

Who said Communism was dull? Sit down and enjoy these tales about communism, the longest path from capitalism to capitalism. Also enjoy the fact that you don't live in one of the People's Paradises.

• Once upon a time, there was an American tourist boasting to a Cuban that there was so much freedom back in America that she could stand in front of the White House and yell, "To hell with Bill Clinton!"
  To which the Cuban replied: "So what? I can stand right in the middle of the Plaza de la Revolución and yell, " To hell with Bill Clinton', too!"

• Attributed to Che Guevara: "In my room I have a poster of all of you."

• The Cuban people should be very happy. In just 40 years, comrade Fidel changed Cuba from "the brothel of the Yankees" into "the brothel of everyone except the Yankees".

• One reporter is interviewing three persons of different nationalities in a Beijing street: "What is your opinion on the meat shortage?"
  The American asks, "What is shortage?"
  The Cuban asks, "What is meat?"
  The Chinese asks, "What is opinion?"

• A Cuban is woken up at midnight by three hard knocks on the door.
  "Who is it?" he asks.
  "The postman."
  The man gets up, opens the door and finds two secret policemen. One of them asks: "Do you have enough to eat?"
  The man answers, "Yes, comrade".
  "Has your son received a good communist education?"
  "Certainly."
  "Then, why do you want lo leave Cuba?"
  "Because I don't like to live in a country where the mail is delivered at 3am."

• An old Jew was sitting in a Moscow park studying Hebrew in a book. Suddenly, a KGB agent approached from behind and, looking at the book, asked the old man, "What's that strange writing in your book?"
  "It is Hebrew, the language used in Israel."
  "Don't be a fool", said the agent. "At your age, you won't get a permit to emigrate to Israel."
  "Perhaps not, but Hebrew is also the language spoken in Heaven"
  "And are you so sure that when you die you'll go to Heaven?"
  "I don't know. But in case I don't make it to Heaven, I already speak Russian."

• Fidel Castro is reviewing some of his troops. Suddenly, he asks one of the soldiers, "Are you happy?"
  "How can you expect me to be happy?", comes the bitter answer. "I am not allowed to leave Cuba, I don't get enough to eat, I haven't seen soap in ages and I cannot even speak freely!"
  "Well, soldier, do you think I am happy?", says Castro. "My officials steal everything in sight, my own daughter runs away, the Army is plotting against me and the people hate me. I live isolated and deserve more compassion than you do."
  Moved, the soldier says, "Mi comandante, let us both escape to Miami, then."