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  • Dr M: The Hero
  • Anwar: The Villain
  • Shamsidar Taharin: She came, He saw, He came
  • Senior DPP Abdul Gani Patail: Main man out to nail Anwar's ass to the wall
  • Raja Aziz Addruse: Main man out to save Anwar's ass
  • Normala Yusof: Media's Pin-Up Girl (Best Face in the Case Award)
  • Augustine Paul: Beast Face in the Case Award
  • Ummi Hafilda: Media's Ex-Pin-Up Girl
  • Wan Azizah: The only sure loser
  • Megat Junid: The Postman
  • Observers: Busybodies
  • NGOs: Nosy, Gullible Organisations
  • Nallakaruppan: The Pimp
  • Datuk Mohd Said Awang: He may or may not be SB director. I can't remember.

We had the pre-Commonwealth Games, then the Commonwealth Games. Now it is the post-Commonwealth Games. Below are some of the results:

Gold: FRU (for firing water cannons to a distance of 300 metres)
Silver: IGP (for shooting his mouth ever so often)

Gold: Anwar (Backstroke, Freestyle, both were come-from-behind victories)

Gold: Winner on countback - Dr M (for striking Anwar down the gutter)
Silver: IGP (for striking Anwar down the gutter)
Bronze: A-G (for striking Anwar down the gutter)

Gold: IGP (for giving Anwar a blue-black eye)


Gold: FRU (their experience with the baton paid off)

3,000 steeplechase
Gold: 3,000 protesters (for running for their lives when chased by FRU)

Hammer Throw
Gold: FRU (for hammering protesters and throwing tear gas canisters)
Silver: Police (for hammering Anwar when he was thrown in jail)

Triple Jump
Gold: Anwar (for jumping Sukma, Munawar and the driver)

Gold: Mahathir's supporters (for carrying PM's balls for 18 years, including Anwar)

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